My Journey to Fabulosity

There's a moment in every life when you realize you can no longer live a lie. For me, that moment came wrapped in years of struggle, devotion, self-doubt, and ultimately, divine love. I grew up knowing two things with absolute certainty: that I loved God with all my heart and that I was undeniably different. The problem was, my church, my community, and even my own mind told me that those two things could not coexist. And so, I did what I thought was right -- I fought against my own nature, convinced that if I just prayed hard enough, followed the rules closely enough, and buried my truth deeply enough, God would make me whole.

This is my story -- one of faith, fear, survival, and ultimately, embracing fabulosity. It is not a story about a man who prayed the gay away. It is not a cautionary tale about making the "wrong choices." It is not about betrayal or deception or regret. It is about embracing the entirety of who I am and discovering that God never once turned His back on me. If anything, He carried me through the darkest of nights, waiting for me to stop running and recognizing the truth: I was never broken. I was never a mistake. I was, and am, exactly who He made me to be.

For 26 years, I have been married to an incredible woman. We have raised three amazing children together. Our journey has been unconventional, messy, painful, and beautiful in ways I could have never predicted. People will read this and make assumptions. Some will think I chose a life that denied my authenticity. Others will believe I "overcame" something that needed to be fixed. Neither is true. What is true is that I chose love, faith, and family in a way that made sense for me, and I refuse to apologize for that.

This story is as much about mental health as it is about faith and sexuality. I have stared into the abyss of depression. I have been institutionalized. I have attempted to take my own life. And yet, I am still here. Not just surviving, but thriving. I want this story to be a lifeline for anyone who has ever felt like an outsider in their own faith, their own family, or their own mind. I want you to know that no matter how lost or broken you feel, you are never beyond love. You are never beyond redemption. And you are never alone.

If you are reading this and feel the weight of shame, of self-doubt, of fear that you are somehow unworthy of God's love, hear me when I say: You are enough. Right now. As you are.

I don't have all the answers, but I do have my story. And if sharing it helps just one person know that they are seen, known, and loved -- by me, by God, by the universe -- then this has done its job.

So grab a Diet Coke, settle in, and let's have some real talk. This is going to be quite the story.