Maybe I Don’t Want to Do This Anymore
Turning 49 has me asking questions I never thought I’d ask—about theatre, teaching, exhaustion, and the life I’ve become incredibly good at surviving. Maybe loving something doesn’t mean you have to keep giving everything you have to it. Maybe endurance isn’t always faithfulness. And maybe getting older means finally asking not how much more I can carry, but how much I actually want to.
Unpacking Jere: A Different Kind of Growth Project
Who am I without the titles, accomplishments, responsibilities, and roles I've spent a lifetime building? That question launched a six-month journey of self-discovery, healing, and honest reflection. In this post, I share why I've begun asking harder questions, examining old patterns, and learning that growth isn't always about finding new answers—sometimes it's about becoming honest enough to face yourself.
THRIVING: A Six-Month Check-In
Six months ago, I declared 2026 my Year of THRIVING. I was ready for abundance, opportunity, momentum, and a holy "watch this" moment from God. This essay explores what happened when my expectations collided with reality—and the surprising discovery that maybe God was changing me more than He was changing my circumstances.
In this six-month check-in, I'm not a millionaire, bestselling author, keynote speaker, or Broadway star. My back still hurts. The credit cards still exist. And yet... somehow, I'm thriving more than I was before. I reflect on marriage, family, teaching, faith, writing, and the surprising realization that maybe the life I've been looking for isn't somewhere else.
Maybe thriving isn't found in finally arriving. Maybe it's found in fully showing up where I already am.
The Exhaustion of Running from Yourself
I spent months applying for jobs, convinced the next opportunity would finally fix everything — the exhaustion, the grief, the financial stress, the constant feeling of never being enough. But somewhere in the middle of all the striving, I realized maybe I wasn’t just running toward something better… maybe I was running from myself.
This post is about burnout, chronic pain, faith, loneliness, worthiness, and the difficult surrender of accepting that maybe I’m not stuck after all.
Maybe I’m planted.
Still Choosing Her
“But you’re gay, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Then why do you want to date me?”
I didn’t have a good answer then.
Twenty-seven years later… I do.